Bestial
by JoyWillCome
Summary: One-shot series revolving around Beast Boy. His past, present, future, and relationship with all the other titans. Stories will vary from comedy to angst to horror... a bit of everything. Maybe light BBxRae. Plenty of friendship and bromance.
1. Joke

So, I haven't written anything for a VERY long time. I decided maybe a one-shot series with one of those 100 words things would help me get back in the habit of it. I decided to do a Beast Boy series because quite frankly he's the most awesome character ever. Feel free to give advice or correct mistakes.

Some will be short, some long. Depends. I'm not going in order. Also, this first one isn't funny, so sorry about that. I'm starting with something light, but don't expect most of them to be like that. I like things intense. Ha.

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><p>81. Joke<p>

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><p>"Hey Raven! Wanna hear a joke?"<p>

"Beast Boy, do I ever want to hear a joke?"

"…yes?"

"No."

"Well, can I tell you one anyway?"

Raven sighed. She knew that the conversation would go on forever if she didn't give in. "Fine. Tell your joke."

"Ok, why are fish salesmen greedy?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because their business makes them sel-FISH! Get it? Fish!"

Beast Boy burst out laughing while Raven rolled her eyes and went back to her book. Shocked by the lack of laughter on her end, Beast Boy stopped.

"Hey, it was funny."

Irritated, Raven closed her book again. "No, it wasn't."

"Yes it was!"

"No, it wasn't."

"Fine, let me try a different one."

"No!"

Beast Boy frowned. "You never like my jokes. I bet _you_ couldn't tell a joke."

Raven paused for a minute. "I could. If I wanted to."

"Fine, then do it."

"Alright. If you insist." Raven paused for a moment, thinking. "This one's perfect for you. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?"

Beast Boy grinned. Raven was actually telling him a joke! He was pretty sure that was like some kind of record or something. If it made sense for something like that to be a record.

"I don't know, why?"

"Because he was dead."

"…..That wasn't funny, Raven."

"Neither are the jokes you tell. Now leave me alone."

"Fine. But I'm not giving up on finding something to make you laugh!" Beast Boy then got up and left in a huff.

Raven picked up her book again, glad to have something there to hide her tiny smile.

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><p>I know the whole Beast Boy-getting-Raven-to-smile thing is overdone, but I wanted to start with something light. I'll try to be more original in my next ones. I just didn't want to write some of my other ideas yet because some of them get kind of intense, and I'd like to think about them a bit more.<p> 


	2. Hurt

75. Hurt

Sometimes a victory doesn't feel like a victory. Sometimes something happens, and even though they beat the bad guy, the Titans still felt like they lost. That night they had gone on a mission which, on the surface, looked simple. Adonis was at it again, wrecking things and throwing them around just to show that he was strong enough to do it. It was going fairly well until the end.

The Titans were used to hearing screams while they were fighting. If a villain was running they would sometimes chase him all over the city, and it is expected that terrified civilians will run away screaming. But sometimes a scream will stand out, and cause them all to stop. A scream that doesn't just convey horror, but grief and despair. A scream that means someone has been hurt. Or killed.

When they heard the scream they all froze, and each Titan felt like their heart had stopped. A quick glance was all they could spare, and all they needed. They saw a woman holding a small boy. There was blood.

It only took a second for Robin to yell at a man hiding behind a garbage can to call 911, and to send Raven over to see if there was anything she could do to heal the boy. Then they resumed fighting. They couldn't stop, couldn't allow anyone else to get hurt. But after that they were more intense, and less careful with the life of the villain. The fight was over in minutes.

While Adonis was being taken away, Raven silently joined her friends. She didn't need to say anything. Her face said it all. There was nothing they could do. They talked quietly for a moment, and then Robin walked over to talk to the mother.

The others stood there awkwardly, knowing it was best not to overwhelm the woman, but feeling guilty about not being able to help in some way. No one noticed when Beast Boy quietly slipped away.

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><p>"I am getting worried. It has been hours. Maybe we should go get him. Maybe he does not really want to be alone." Starfire was standing in front of the window, staring out at the sky, as if she expected Beast Boy to come flying in any minute. She had wanted to go find him the moment they had realized he was gone, but Robin had told her that they should wait. His communicator wasn't turned off, so they knew he was in the park, but it had been four hours.<p>

Robin sighed. "You know, I'm getting kind of worried too. I'm sure he's fine, but if he was bothered by…earlier…he shouldn't have run off. I'll go get him." That earned him a small smile from Starfire, but he found it difficult to return it. It had been a hard day, and he didn't really expect talking to Beast Boy to make it any easier.

Fortunately for Robin, Beast Boy was easy to find. Whenever they went on picnics, Beast Boy would like to sit under the biggest tree and watch the leaves move. It amazed the other Titans that something so simple could actually keep Beast Boy so quiet for a few minutes. He expected that he would find his friend there, and there he was.

Beast Boy didn't look up as Robin sat down next to him. Robin was quiet for a few minutes, trying to think of what to say. Beast Boy wasn't someone he talked to alone very often, and when they were alone he was mostly going on about all the things Beast Boy could improve on. He wanted to be able to have a good conversation for once. Finally, after realizing how much he sucked at this kind of thing, he settled for, "Hey."

"Hey."

_Now what? _

"Um…so…what's up?"

_Wow._

"Nothing."

Robin was stumped. Normally Beast Boy would say whatever was on his mind, he wasn't prepared for a Raven-like answer. He decided he'd get straight to the point. "Is this about the little boy?"

Beast Boy looked up a bit. "What do you think?"

Robin would have been offended by the comment if not for the look on Beast Boy's face. He wasn't trying to be sarcastic, he just didn't want to say what was bothering him if it was obvious.

"Of course it is. I'm sorry." Robin paused, wanting his next try to be better. "Why'd you come here? And why are you _still _here?"

It was quiet for another few minutes. "I just wanted to think for a while." Beast Boy managed to smile a bit. "I know it's amazing, but I do actually do that sometimes." The smile faded. "I don't understand you guys."

That caught Robin off guard. "What do you mean?"

Beast Boy turned so he was actually looking Robin in the face. "Someone dies and you're all like 'well, we'll talk to the kid's mom and then go on home and pretend like nothing happened.' That's how it _always_ is. How can you do that? How can you not care?"

The question almost made Robin angry. "What do you mean we don't care? Of course we do! Why do you think we fight these guys!"

"You don't act like it! You went and talked to that woman like it was a business thing, like you just needed to make sure she didn't blame us and that the public doesn't think we're heartless. And the rest of us just had to stand there. I mean, everyone looked sad, but did any of you actually _feel _something?" Beast Boy was having a hard time putting what was bothering him into words, and it was getting increasingly frustrating. He ripped out a chunk of grass and threw it back at the ground, but amazingly, that didn't help.

Robin wasn't sure how to respond. "I… we… we can't let these things get to us too much. We need to be able to do our job. A part of our job is understanding that these things can happen, and that the reason we fight is to stop them from happening _more. _It's not that we don't care… It's just that we can't think about these things. It'll drive us crazy."

Beast Boy didn't answer, so Robin continued. "I grew up seeing death. I know it's probably a bad thing, but it doesn't affect me the way it used to. I know how to block it now. I know how to focus my mind on other things. Starfire is from a warrior planet, and even though she's sad when she sees things like that, she doesn't react like you think she should because in her culture it's…normal. Cyborg is older and, well, he's pretty tough. I'm sure he's bothered by it too, he just doesn't show it much. And you know Raven. She can't feel these things too strongly."

After a while Beast Boy sighed and nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not really upset at you guys. I just can't understand how you do it. In the Doom Patrol, I was always being told that I can't worry about the death of one person if there are millions we're trying to save. But how can I _not?_ How can I see a mom lose her kid and not just lose it? Every time it happens I just want to go home and scream and cry and pray that it wasn't real. But it is real! That was a real woman, who probably has a husband at home and maybe even more kids, and they're all going to have to live the rest of their life without someone they love. How can I deal with that? How can I deal with it when it's happened to _me?"_ At this point he was facing away from Robin again, trying to hide that he was crying. It was not really something he was supposed to do.

"I guess you just have to. It's part of being a hero." Robin never really was good at comforting but he thought it pretty smart of him to put a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. It did seem to cheer him up a little, if only because of how awkward it was, and Beast Boy almost laughed at it.

"I guess. It's just… I always used to wonder why there were so many bad people out there, you know. And when I thought about it, I realized that a lot of people are bad because they just don't care about anything. They don't care about other people, and sometimes not even themselves. So why should they care what they do? Why should they care if their families suffer, if the whole world suffers? And then I wonder why they got that way, and I realize that it's probably because it hurts to care about people, it really hurts."

Beast Boy stood up. "So I don't think I can do what you guys do, because I'm not strong enough. I can't care about people _and _not think about them. I can't do that. I couldn't do that in the Doom Patrol and I can't do it here. Because if I didn't want to be this messed up by people dying, I'd have to completely numb myself to all of it, and then how can I be a hero? I'll be just like those other people who just do whatever because they just don't care anymore. I'm a hero because I love people and don't want them to get hurt! If people getting hurt doesn't affect me, then I'm just here to fight, and that's not being a hero. That's just being…just being a… I don't know."

Beast Boy looked at Robin sadly. "I don't know if that made sense. I'm sorry for ranting to you. I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry I accused you guys of not caring. ….And I'm sorry I told Starfire that it's an earth custom to place garlic in front of a boyfriend's door every morning." His face broke into a grin, which looked a bit weird considering it was covered in tears, but more normal than it did a few minutes before.

"…So that's why that's been there." Under normal circumstances he would have been angry, but Robin was just glad Beast Boy had said something…Beast Boy-like. It let him know that he must be feeling better. "It's all alright. I don't completely understand, but… I think you may be right. There's no point in fighting if we have to _completely_ forget what we're fighting for." For a moment he just sat there and let the thought sink in. Maybe Beast Boy was right. Maybe he did need to find a better balance. "Maybe I need to think about that more. Sometimes I do feel like I'm just fighting."

Beast Boy nodded, then shivered. "Can we go home? It's cold out here."

"You're the one that's been sitting here for…" He checked his communicator. "Five hours. Not me."

"Whatever." Beast Boy's face had lost most of the sadness from before. Talking about it seemed to have helped. "Come on, let's go."

Robin got up. "Alright. And hey, you could always come talk to me, you know… After stuff like this happens. You don't have to go sit by yourself. You have four friends conveniently located right down the hall from you."

Beast Boy smiled and motioned for Robin to walk with him, which he did.

"So….what _did _you do with all that garlic?"


	3. Decide

I wrote most of this way late at night, so I'm sorry if anything is wrong. I got this idea last night.

This story is set before the whole Raven thing, so she's not mentioned. I'd say this is right after the Aftershock business.

**Important edit: **I made a HUGE mistake with the timeline. I forgot that between Aftershock and Birthmark there WAS no Slade. I'll find a way to fix it later, right now just pretend it makes sense.

**More important edit: **I fixed it. It's still a little awkward.

This is now set after Things Change.

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><p>36. Decide<p>

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><p>When Beast Boy saw Slade, he knew he had to make a move. He knew that Slade had a habit of watching their battles from a distance, preferring to send robots to do his dirty work. If he hesitated, he could miss his chance and Slade would slip away like he did nearly every time.<p>

After he met the Terra look-alike and fought one of Slade's stupid robots, the real Slade began to strike again, much to the Titan's chagrin.

This time they were trying to cut off one of his attacks before it reached the city, and they were in the middle of nowhere. Slade was well hidden, but Beast Boy had good sight, and could see through the dense trees to where he was watching.

As he crept closer, he noticed that Slade wasn't looking in his direction. He was looking at where the other Titans were fighting, the robots leading them farther and farther away from the area where he was hidden. All except Beast Boy. _Surely_ he was aware of his absence…

There! The eye uncovered by his mask went wide in realization. Beast Boy knew Slade had noticed he was short one Titan. He took his chance. Shifting into a bear he swung his arm as hard as he could, aiming for Slade's face.

...He hit. And Slade fell.

...What? Seriously? Did that really happen? Did he really just knock out Slade, just like that? He leaned down and poked him just to be sure.

…He did! He really knocked him out!

He was just about to run and tell the other Titans when something stopped him. He just knocked out _Slade_. Not just any villain, but _Slade_. He couldn't just leave him there and risk him waking up and walking away while he was gone. He'd have to stay and watch him. The other Titans would come back to find him at some point. Until then, he'd just wait, ready to fight at any minute.

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><p>About twenty minutes passed before Beast Boy had a thought.<p>

_He could kill Slade._

The instant he thought it, he felt ashamed and sick. He couldn't kill a person. Even if it was Slade. He had thought he killed him at the amusement park, and just knowing that he _could _have "accidentally" killed a person turned his stomach.

"But…" he began out loud, "If I just…finished it, he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. I would be _saving_ lives."

He paused for a while, contemplating. Could he really take one life to possibly save others? But it wasn't just a possibility, he _knew_ that Slade would hurt more people.

"No! I can't believe I'm even thinking this! This is wrong! I can't kill anyone!"

Beast Boy got up and started pacing. His mind was flying back and forth, looking at the pros and cons of killing him, and beating himself up over considering it. Finally he had an idea. It was possible that this wasn't even Slade. He hadn't even taken the mask off to make sure that it wasn't just another robot decoy. If he took the mask off and it was just a robot, he was off the hook. He ran over and pulled the broken mask off.

He wasn't a robot. He was…a man. He looked to Beast Boy like a somewhat old man, though that might have been because of his facial hair. His hair was white, and an eye patch covered his missing eye. There was blood running down his face from the hit.

Beast Boy felt his stomach twist. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to be a robot. Or at least he thought that if he took the mask off and there _was_ a man underneath he would realize how horrible it was to think the man should die.

But instead of compassion, instead of pity at the mess of a man before him, he felt anger. He felt anger stronger than he could ever remember feeling. Before, it was almost hard to see Slade as a real person. Of course he knew that he was human, but that never really clicked. He had always felt like he was fighting an idea, a symbol of evil. But no, Slade was a real human being. It just took a face to put with the words and the actions for him to realize that.

Beast Boy stood up and threw the mask at the ground. He was aware that Slade couldn't hear him, but he was so angry that he didn't care. "You. You_ are_ human. You sick, horrible person. Do you know what you've done to us? To all of us? Do you know what you've done to Robin? You've made him completely alienate us! He used to be my friend, you know. He used to like to do stuff with me, and now, because he's so obsessed with you, he never comes out of his room and he just thinks I'm annoying when I get him to come hang out with us. When we thought you were dead everything was so much better but you had to come back and ruin it all again! And Terra… You destroyed her, and you almost destroyed all of us. You took the one girl who didn't make me feel like a freak and you destroyed her! And you wanted to turn Raven over to her demon father! WE ALMOST LOST HER! How could you! What is your excuse? Do you want money? Do you want fame? What do you want? What do you do all this for? You don't do anything but destroy things! It's like you don't even have a reason, you just feel like it! Well, you know what I feel like doing? _I feel like killing you_!"

And for a split second, he decided to do it. There were so many ways he could. Animals he never used before, because the very thought of them scared him. Animals that live to kill, to poison, to rip apart, to devour. The sound of them filled his mind, and he fell back, overwhelmed by the flood of instinct and emotion. He wanted to kill him, to destroy him like he destroyed so much that he had loved. He felt his body prepare to change, then felt his thoughts shift into something unfamiliar. Something animal.

He didn't feel human. And that's what stopped him.

He couldn't do it. Not now, at least. Maybe later. Maybe someday. Maybe if he knew what was right. He wiped the tears off his face and took a last look at the man across from him.

"You're lucky I'm more human than you are."

And with that he crawled away, fighting the guilt of almost killing a man, and the guilt for allowing the deaths that were sure to follow soon after. A head injury wouldn't keep Slade down for long.

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><p>It took half an hour to catch up with his friends. He knew that by the time the fight was done, Slade would most likely be up and gone, leaving no trace for Robin's after-battle search. The Titans made no attempt to hide how angry they were at him deserting them, but he refused to resume human form while fighting, hoping to be able compose himself before facing them. When the fight was over they all gathered around him, ready to yell and demand an explanation, but when he shifted back and they saw his face, deathly pale, eyes red from crying, no one said a word. After a moment of awkward silence, Beast Boy cleared his throat and forced a smile. "So…I guess we won. Should we…go out for pizza?"<p>

There was more awkward silence before Robin stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Sure, Beast Boy. Let's go."

Sometimes, friends know when not to ask.

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><p>I don't think he would be able to kill someone on purpose. Just my thoughts. You also have to think that when he gets angry enough to want to kill, it would be hard to control all of those instincts. I assume that losing control is something that would definitely scare him. I know it would scare me. Also, the question he's trying to answer is a difficult one, and one that doesn't always have an absolute answer. Might do a thing where Beast Boy confesses the letting-Slade-go thing to Robin. Not sure. Also, if you have ideas, let me know, because if I'm bored I might use them (and credit you, of course.) The key word is "might", though. Ha. I have lots of ideas of my own too.<p> 


	4. Calm

A break from the angst. This one's kind of cheesy. Sorry.

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><p>19. Calm<p>

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><p>Rarely is there a quiet moment in the Titan's tower. There is usually a constant buzzing, a sound that's a combination of the TV, video games, music, and arguing. If someone was looking for peace and quiet they would normally only find it in their own rooms.<p>

Beast Boy liked the noise and was happy to add to it. If he didn't have something to distract himself with his mind would wander, and sometimes it would wander to memories that he would rather leave buried. Silence was risky, noise was safe.

Today was not a normal day. The television was off, as were the games and the radios. No one was arguing. Actually, no one was even talking.

Beast Boy was sitting in the middle of the couch, looking at the people around him.

To the right side of him was Cyborg, who was writing in a notebook. When Beast Boy tried to peek over to see what he was writing, Cyborg moved it out of sight. It must have been a secret. Beast Boy hoped it was a special plan. Hopefully for him.

Raven was sitting in front of him, leaning back against his legs. She was halfway through a book, and Beast Boy knew that was her favorite part. Once you were in the middle, you were past the boring parts where you're still trying to figure out who everyone is, yet you still have a lot left to read.

To the left side of him was Robin and Starfire. Star was leaning against Robin, and they were both asleep. Over time they had slid until Robin's head was pressed up against Beast Boy's arm, and Starfire was nearly falling off the couch.

It was almost completely silent. All there was to be heard was the pen scratching, the pages turning, and the soft breathing of his teammates.

Tucked comfortably between his four friends, he didn't need the distraction of noise to keep his thoughts controlled. Like everyone and everything around him, his mind was perfectly calm.

_I guess silence isn't so bad._


	5. Allow

Thank you for the reviews! There aren't many, but I appreciate those that take the time to say something. I definitely enjoy it! Don't be afraid to share ideas. By the way, there is a picture (more like a doodle) of part of this one on my deviantart page. It is linked to on my profile.

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><p>2. Allow<p>

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><p>The crashes from Beast Boy's room could be heard all over the tower. Four Titans heard the sounds, but three decided that it was in the best interest of their mental health to just ignore it.<p>

Their fearless leader, unfortunately, was not quite as smart about these things. He didn't see the harm in asking WHAT HECK WAS GOING ON.

He walked down and knocked on the door. "Beast Boy?"

No reply.

He knocked once again. "Gar!"

No reply.

BANG BANG BANG! "GARFIELD MARK LOGAN, GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

The door finally opened part way, revealing a slightly disheveled Beast Boy, who was clearly very annoyed at Robin's use of his full name... like he was his_ dad_ or something.

Two can play at that game. "RICHARD…uh...something…GRAYSON! What." _Darnit._

Robin grinned. "That wasn't as clever as it was supposed to be, was it?"

The younger boy turned away, turning a little red. "Shuddup. What do you want, anyway?"

"What's going on in your room?"

Beast Boy's face turned even redder. "Nothing!"

"That was convincing." Robin was clearly unconvinced.

Beast Boy sighed. "Ok, fine, dude. Just hear me out. I got into a mess that I know you would definitely disapprove of. It was no fault of mine, and I had no control over it happening. BUT. I know that if you leave me alone and let me deal with it, I can fix it. So, if you'll just…go away for a while…everything will be fixed, and it'll be like nothing ever happened. Okay?"

Robin was silent for a moment, considering what had been said. His first instinct was to say that no, it isn't okay, and he wants to know what is going on, but then he remembered every other single time when he had insisted that he be told. Every. Single. Time.

...

"…Alright, see you later."

"Thanks, Robin! Bye!" The door slammed shut.

_CRASH!_

Robin shook his head. "Uuugh."


	6. Years

Okay, dudes, listen up. I didn't sleep last night, and I started writing this about two hours ago. (It is almost nine thirty AM.) If this is bad, I blame it on that. If it's not, well, then... I'm awesome. Just kidding. Ok, a few notes: Don't bug me about the ages, I like them. Ha. Also, I know that Beast Boy mixes up some things he says about the others, like I know about how Starfire was different in the comics, but I don't know how all of it is in the show, so it doesn't matter, and also he's still learning about them all. Just roll with it. Anyway, sorry for slow updates. I'm tired.

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><p>164. Years<p>

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><p><em>The green boy hasn't stopped following me since the day we met. All I've heard for three months is "Cyborg, do you wanna do this?" or "Hey Cyborg, you wanna do that?" I've tried to be nice, but the kid is 11 and I'm 16. I'm not a babysitter, and I'm not going to give up my valuable time to play big brother to a kid I hardly know.<em>

_The problem is that now that we're living in the same tower it is difficult to avoid him. Beast Boy has good hearing so sneaking around is out of the question, and anyway, there is no reason I should have to sneak around my own house! I could just say no, but, man, he's got this face he makes when he wants things… it's unfair. Maybe if I spend time with him every once in a while he'll get tired of me and leave me alone. I'm not really anyone's idea of a "good friend." No one likes to be seen with a freak. Not even…well, another freak._

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><p><em>It's been six months now and he's still by my side every minute. Alright, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. He bugs the other three, too. I think that Raven is going to kill him one of these days. He's always following her and trying to tell her jokes. He still thinks Robin is the greatest, which seems to both annoy and flatter our dear leader all at the same time. Starfire just thinks he's adorable and is always trying to cook things for him. Speaking of her cooking….no, I won't get into it. Anyway, I think we're all getting used to him.<em>

_He likes to play video games a lot. I don't think he'd ever played before he came here. I have to admit, it is fun to play with him. But you know… just because he's easy to beat._

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><p><em>Okay, I can deal with the games and going to the park and the arcade and the movies. I can even deal with the pranks and the jokes, but this, THIS is a whole different thing.<em>

_Last night he came to my room at one in the morning, pounding on the door. I was about to yell at him, but when I opened the door he was crying and shaking. What am I supposed to do with that?_

_"I, um, had a nightmare." He said. He said it like he was embarrassed._

_Seriously, what am I supposed to do with this?_

_"So…what do you want me to do about it?" I asked. I didn't mean to sound so annoyed, but it was late, I was tired. I'm not his dad._

_"I don't know." He started to cry harder. "I would normally go to Rita, but now…I don't know."_

_I sighed but let him in. "What was your nightmare about?" Oh sheesh._

_"My parents."_

_"What happened?"_

_His face suddenly got serious and he didn't answer. I almost laughed, he looked so strange. His face was red and covered in tears, and he's got this out of character serious face on. It's not funny, but I felt like laughing. He's not supposed to look sad or serious._

_"They died. Don't ask anymore. I just don't want to be alone."_

_"Oh, ok." I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. It felt like hours. "Do you want to sleep here tonight?"_

_He looked up at me, like he was searching my face for something but I'm not sure what._

_He gave me a quick hug before curling up on the floor in the form of a cat._

_I hope this isn't a reoccurring thing._

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><p><em>I had a bad day. I didn't mean to snap at him, I really didn't. I just wanted some time alone, and he wanted to play some stupid board game. I hate board games. I said no, but he just kept pestering and I just snapped. To sum it up I basically told him to stop bugging me all the time, and I guess I also sort of called him a "little freak" but… I didn't mean it THAT way.<em>

_Lately when he's upset by something he's been laughing it off and pretending it doesn't bother him. Well, this time he didn't try to hide it. He went to his room and still hasn't come out._

_I really am a jerk._

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><p><em>Things are mostly back to normal. BB came out of his room and he's acting like nothing ever happened. He's back to joking and smiling, but with me it feels forced.<em>

_It's driving me crazy._

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><p><em>"Ok, man , we need to talk about this." I'm really tired of his act.<em>

_"What?" He looks genuinely surprised. But I know he hasn't forgotten, and neither have I._

_"I'm really sorry I called you that name. You're not a freak, and I didn't even mean it in that way, ok? And it's okay to be mad at me, you don't need to act like everything is fine."_

_He smiles, but it looks fake. "It's okay, Cy. I am a freak. I can't be mad at you for calling me what I am."_

_For some reason I feel angry. "That's not what you are. What makes you think that?"_

_"Because I AM. I've thought about it, and I'm the least normal person on this team. Robin's normal, Starfire's normal on her planet, I don't know about Raven but she can pass as normal outside, and you just have some robot parts. I'm the freaky one."_

_"I 'just have some robot parts'? Are you serious? Almost all of my body is 'robot parts!' I'm just as much a freak as you are!"_

_He flinches. Oh great I've called him that again. "You're not, though. You look different, but when you think about it, you're just a human with some robot parts. Not that that's not cool… I just mean…" He looks lost._

_I'm at a loss for words. I'm angry, because I don't see my situation as that simple. But I'm also angry because he kind of has a point. I don't know what to do, so I just start talking._

_"When I go outside, people stare at me. They're afraid of me. Little kids point and their parents don't even tell them to stop because I'm just a 'machine.' I'm not just a guy with robot parts, Beast Boy. To all of them, and to myself, I'm a freak."_

_He's looking right at me with the most intense look I've ever seen on that face. Suddenly I get that he understands. I know he's only 12 and that until now I've thought he was kind of slow, but he understands. With that one look he's told me that he gets stared at and called names and pointed at, and I'm sure people have tried to justify it by thinking of him as just an "animal." When he finally answers I almost fall over._

_"But you're not a freak to me, Cyborg."_

_If I was the kind of person who hugs people, I'd hug him right now._

_"And you're not a freak to me, Beast Boy."_

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><p><em>Alright, I have to admit it, I love this kid. I know, it's taken a year, but better late than never. He's like a little brother to me, and I can't believe how badly I didn't want to be around him when I first met him.<em>

_Well, I guess I can believe it. It's not the easiest friendship. I feel like I've suddenly taken on a bunch of responsibility. I'm always worried about the kid. I'm always watching him in battles, thinking he's going to get hurt. And I keep catching myself correcting him or lecturing him, like he needs me to set him straight or something. I'm trying not to act like a dad, but he doesn't have anyone else to do these things… although I've noticed the Boy Wonder doing a bit of the same thing. And even Raven and Starfire to an extent. I guess we all kind of see him as our responsibility. As our little brother. He is, after all, the youngest and-_

"Cyborg?"

"Huh?" I look up to see Beast Boy. Not the twelve year old I was thinking about a minute ago, but the fifteen year old who just led his own "team" in the fight against the Brotherhood.

"How did I do, Cy?" He's grinning like he knows he did good. Heh, showoff.

"You were great, little buddy." I smile at him. It's real, because I am happy for him, and so proud, but at the same time I'm not feeling too great. He runs over to Raven and I notice Robin staring at me.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm just…thinking. About when we met him."

"Yeah, me too." He forces a smile. "This is a happy thing. We should be happy."

"I know. But it's a sad thing too."

"I know."

Suddenly BB's back and tugging on my arm. "We seeeeeriously need to get home, guys. I've missed you all so much!" A bit of the weight lifts at that. "And you seriously owe me some games, dude. And a veggie burger."

I grin. "Yo, man, I am NOT touching that stuff. You'll have to make that yourself."

He pouts. "But the last time I got burnt. You can't burn YOUR hands."

I nudge him towards the T-ship, ignoring that last comment. Sure, he's been needing me less and less in missions, and today made that obvious. And maybe he doesn't need me to protect him from nightmares anymore. But he's not all grown up yet, and even then he is he's always going to need me.

I'm his big brother. He's always going to need me.


	7. Wrong

Alright, so you guys seemed to like 11-12 year old BB, so I'll have to do some more past stuff. I know it seems kind of unlikely that he'd be that young when they meet, but man, he didn't seem like he was a teenager yet in Go! At all. Buuuut anyway... I have to get out some other ideas first. Also, the two reviews that required replies were both unsigned so I'm going to reply to them here:

**HUGE fan: **Thanks! That's an interesting idea... I was thinking about doing something about his powers developing... I'll have to give it some thought.

**diamond1sky: **I know what you mean about the bbxrae fics... I love them, but there are too many. I prefer to focus on friendships. If there are any pairings in here, they'll be light... but there probably won't be.

Anyway, this takes place right after "The Beast Within." I was disappointed by the fact that we never get any of the Titans apologizing for how quickly they turned on Beast Boy. This is kind of sad, actually. But this is just the beginning. I can write each Titan finally dealing with this if you would like. If not, I shall leave it as it is.

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><p>The fight was over. Beast Boy, in his "beast" form, defeated Adonis and returned to normal. He wasn't fully conscious, but he was mostly alright.<p>

The hard part came later.

Beast Boy fell asleep almost immediately when they set him on the bed in the med bay. That gave them time to deal with the slight injuries he had, and prepare for him to wake up.

Everyone was feeling a bit nervous, except for Raven who had drifted off somewhere to meditate. No one was sure what she thought about all of this, and no one thought it wise to ask.

They all expected the same thing to happen. Beast Boy would wake up, be confused for a while, figure things out, apologize even though they all knew it wasn't his fault, and then everything would go back to normal.

But that's not what happened. Beast Boy woke up, stared at everyone for a few seconds, then got up and walked to his room. Cyborg tried to call out to him to stop, but he just kept walking.

After a few attempts from each Titan to get him to talk, they finally coaxed him out by telling him he needed to go through some tests so they could cure him. They had all agreed that his refusal to talk to them may also have something to do with the chemicals, and that they'll have their normal Beast Boy back when everything is fixed.

He was silent though the tests, and hardly flinched when Cyborg injected the antidote, which was strange considering his fear of needles. They allowed him to go back to his room without asking any questions, sure that he'd be out and talking later.

For a whole week the only person who was able to talk to him was Raven, and only when he ventured out of his room, which wasn't often. It wasn't hard to figure out why, but no wanted to be the one to start the conversation. What happened was bad, and how they dealt with it was wrong. But talking about it was uncomfortable and each person thought that it would be much easier if they just waited until someone else brought it up.

Eventually Beast Boy stopped staying in his room and started to talk to them again. He was smiling and laughing, like everything was normal again. And even though they felt horrible about it, the three of them pretended that it was.


	8. Guilt  Part 1

For those that don't know, yes, Starfire has a brother.

This is the first part of 3. This one is Starfire, next will be Cyborg, last will be Robin. It's a continuation of the last chapter, which is what happened after The Beast Within. Sorry for the wait, I didn't have much of a computer for a while. But now I have a new one, so yay! Also, don't expect Star and BB's talk to be very long. I started with them because I see their talk as the easiest. They won't have to go very deep. Ha.

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><p>Guilt - Part 1<p>

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><p>Starfire was normally the optimistic one. She had faith in her friends and in the goodness of others even when everyone else had lost it. When Robin became Slade's apprentice, when Cyborg "betrayed" the team while undercover, and during the few times Raven had lost control of her powers... She never believed they were evil and she never lost faith in them. She knew that in the end they would be together and everything would be okay. That's just who she was. So why, when Beast Boy needed someone to believe in him, did she fail him?<p>

It wasn't even that she didn't believe him when he said that he wouldn't hurt Raven. She knew her friend and what he was capable of doing. Something must have been wrong and Robin was pushing too hard for an answer that Beast Boy probably didn't have. She knew it, but she didn't say anything.

Maybe it was because it was Robin interrogating him, who she cared for but was a little afraid of. If she spoke up while he was in that kind of mood she was sure he would yell at her and hurt her. When Robin said things that hurt they stuck with her for a long time. She tried not to argue with him. She also didn't want him mad at her. Their relationship was complicated enough the way it was.

Or maybe it was because her best friend, her sister, was lying in front of her looking half-dead. The way she didn't move….but just sort of levitated there…it was disturbing. She was hardly able to focus on the conversation going on across the room.

The last thing she considered was that she honestly wanted to know what had happened. Maybe…maybe if Robin pushed, he WOULD get some answers. Maybe Beast Boy WOULD remember something and maybe they WOULD be able to fix everything. And maybe if she interrupted everything would be ruined.

But looking back, those were all bad reasons. Her love and fear of Robin was no reason to not be there for a friend when he was in need. Raven was fine. She was healing herself and only looked the way she did because she was in a trance. And Beast Boy was so distressed that there was no way the interrogation would get any buried memories from him. He never had been one to handle pressure well. She had no reason to be quiet, and yet she was.

After Beast Boy had defeated Adonis he refused to talk to the three of them (only talking to Raven sometimes) for a long time. During that time Starfire was able to reflect on the situation and her relationship with her youngest friend.

The more she thought about it, the worse she felt. Beast Boy had always been loyal to her. Out of all of her friends, she had the most in common with him. Sometimes it was hard to understand the sarcasm and the pessimism that was so common in the tower, but when she felt the most alone she could always count on Beast Boy to be there with a smile and an encouraging word. At first she found his constant teasing and joking to be a bit trying, especially when he went too far with the pranks. But over time she began to understand him more and realized that he meant these things to be helpful. He just wanted his friends to be happy. Then she felt nothing but gratitude and love for him when he joked with her, and she tried to show him that she appreciated it even when she didn't understand what he was talking about.

During his silence she missed the jokes more than anything. Then he started coming out of his room again and joking like nothing ever happened. That was even worse. Her friend had been hurt and it was not right for him to "forgive and forget" when things had not been set to right. She could not apologize for Robin and Cyborg, but there was nothing stopping her from apologizing for herself.

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><p>Beast Boy awoke to the sound of a knock on his door. A glance at the clock told him that it was already past ten. Since the "beast" incident he'd been getting to sleep earlier than usual. Spending so much time in his room was boring, and he hadn't been feeling well enough to entertain himself.<p>

He knew it was Starfire before he opened the door. Heightened senses are useful sometimes. He didn't want to open the door to someone he didn't feel like talking to. One person in particular.

He opened the door and noticed Starfire's forced smile. "Hey, Star. What's up?"

The smile got tighter. "Friend, I need to talk to you."

"Well... I'm kind of in the middle of..."

"Please, friend." Her smile was gone.

Beast Boy opened the door. "Alright, come on in."

She stepped in and looked around. The room was surprisingly clean. "It is quite...organized."

Beast Boy shrugged. "I've had lots of time on my hands."

"That's what I want to talk about." Instead of continuing, Starfire sat on the bed and looked down at her feet.

There was a long, awkward silence.

Beast Boy cleared his throat. "Um, Star-"

Suddenly Starfire jumped up and hugged him. "I am sorry!"

Beast Boy wasn't expecting that. "Huh?"

She let go and looked at his face, keeping her hands on his shoulders. "My friend was in need of my trust and I did not give it to him! I am very, very sorry."

He pulled away from her, gently. "Let's not talk about this, Star. I really don't want to."

Starfire stared at him for a second, as if trying to decide what to do. She then sat back down on the bed and crossed her arms. "If you will not talk, then listen. I shall do the talking." She motioned for Beast Boy to sit down, and he did. "I am very much at fault for what happened, and I cannot let anymore time go by without doing something to ammend it." Beast Boy was about to protest, but she hushed him.

She continued. "I have lived in this place with you a long time. I have gotten to know you well, and consider you a close friend. I... I like to think of you like a little brother. You are closer to me even than my real brother, who I was not able to know well. I consider you family."

Beast Boy gave her a little smile. "I consider you family too, Star."

She managed a small smile in return. "Thank you, friend." She paused. "I know you very well, and when you were being angry and rude, I knew something was wrong."

Beast Boy shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to think about what a jerk he had been, but continued to listen.

"When Robin told you that you should leave... I wanted to say something. I wanted to say that he should not say that, and that we should stop and talk with you. I knew something was wrong, I should not have let you just walk away. But I did and I do not know why." Starfire shook her head in disbelief at herself. "I just let you walk away. Maybe if I had not, nothing bad would have happened."

Beast Boy shook his head. "No, Star. Nothing's your fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine. I'm the one that was a jerk and I'm the one that got angry. If it didn't happen after that, it would have happened some other time."

"But maybe we could have realized what happened before it happened... we could have found that the chemicals changed you without knowing how _much_ they changed you and fixed it then."

Beast Boy just shrugged. "I don't know. But it wasn't your fault."

Starfire sighed. "Well... it is not just that. When Robin was questioning you I saw that you were very distressed, and I believed that Robin was pushing you too hard. I thought he should stop and that we should all wait for Raven to wake up. Everyone was so...angry. Frightened. I knew something very wrong was going to happen. But I did not say anything. And you were so upset. And I knew you needed to know we trusted you. And I did trust you. But I did not say anything." She started crying. "I did not say anything. I betrayed you as a friend and as a sister."

Beast Boy was a bit caught off guard. But his first instinct as a person who can't stand to see his friends sad was to stop the crying, so he wasted no time. "No way, Star! You didn't do anything wrong! After all that stuff happened, I thought about all kinds of things I should have said when Robin was questioning me, but I wasn't thinking clear enough when it was happening to say any of it. It was too crazy and stressful and I was having a hard enough time keeping myself together the way it was, you know? It's easy to think of all the stuff you SHOULD do after everything is over and you don't have the pressure on you. So don't beat yourself up over not doing all the stuff you think you should have done." He leaned over and hugged her. "You've shown me how great a friend you are just now by coming to talk to me."

Starfire hugged him back, and had a huge smile when she pulled away. "So you forgive me?"

"Of course, Star. I totally understand, ok?" He gave her a big smile, and this time he didn't need to fake it.

"Thank you so much, my brother! I feel so much better, I think I shall go make dinner for you and all of our friends!" With that she flew out of the room.

Beast Boy sat back and signed happily. Knowing that at least one of his friends had trusted him made him feel much better than he had before.

Until he realized what she'd said about dinner.

_Darnit._


	9. Guilt  Part 2

Hey guys. This was supposed to go up yesterday, but there was some problem and I wasn't able to log on. Anyway, Cyborg's turn. This turned out to be more of a fight than anything... weird. Please forgive BB for being kind of jerk-like. He's kind of mad, and even though he's my favorite character, I need to accept his flaws...one of which is that sometimes he's a bit more harsh than he needs to be. Hope it's better than the last one, which I wasn't that impressed with after a while.

I'd like to clear something else up too. Cyborg is guilty of sort of the same thing as Starfire... But the reason BB blames him more is because Cyborg was much calmer about the whole thing and had a better grasp of the situation. BB has also been able to rely on Cyborg for support in the past.

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><p>Guilt - Part 2<p>

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><p>The last couple weeks had been difficult for Cyborg.<p>

He was never one for sitting around and doing nothing. His days were always filled and normally it was difficult to find a time to sit down and think for a minute, but now it seemed sitting and thinking was all he ever did.

The main reason for this was the fact that Beast Boy would not do anything with him. He didn't know how much time he'd spend with the boy every day until, suddenly, he didn't want to do anything anymore. Whenever he asked if he wanted to play video games, go to the park, or help him with his car, he always got a "Not right now" or a "Maybe later." When later came around, he got the same answers again. Seriously, he had tried EVERYTHING.

"Hey, Beast Boy, I bought us tickets to the new Wicked Scary movie! I know the fifth one sucked, but I heard the sixth is almost as good as the first..."

"Hey, BB! I've thought about it and... I think I'm ready to try some of your nas- I mean your vegan food stuff."

"Hey, B, how about we go to the comic store and I'll buy you a few issues?"

"I'LL LET YOU DRIVE THE T-CAR!"

Nothing worked. His best friend was totally blowing him off.

This meant two weeks of doing nothing but work on his car (which was perfectly fine and needed no more work) and trying to get Robin, Starfire, and Raven to do something with him. Robin and Raven didn't appear to be in a good mood, so he mostly relied on Starfire, and he was really tired of her testing food on him.

Finally he'd had it. He'd offered everything he could think of. One day he just barged into Beast Boy's room to confront him.

"Okay, Beast Boy. We need to talk."

Beast Boy was obviously shocked by this intrusion. Luckily he was just sitting on his floor and doodling in a notebook, but STILL. That was kind of rude.

"What are we going to talk about? I have an idea, how about we talk about how rude it is to come into people's rooms without knocking?"

Cyborg just rolled his eyes. "You've been avoiding me."

Beast Boy shrugged. "I haven't had much time lately."

"You spend all kinds of time in your room, which I know you hate doing. So don't tell me that you don't have time."

"Fine. I just don't really feel like doing any of that stuff, okay?" Even though Beast Boy looked calm, Cyborg knew him well enough to see that he was getting agitated.

"Why not? You would want to any other time. What's wrong?"

Beast Boy stood up and threw his notebook on his bed. "What do you think is wrong? You're supposed to be my best friend, but when I need you you're not there!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how, during the thing with the chemicals and Adonis and Raven, you completely bailed on me! Robin was ripping into me and all you did was stand there!"

Cyborg signed. "C'mon, man, I thought we were over this."

"How can we be over something we never talked about?"

"I don't know. I just thought you were feeling better about that whole thing."

Beast Boy sat down on his bed and crossed his arms. "I feel better about some of it, but that doesn't mean that everything's okay. You know, Starfire came and talked to me the other day. SHE apologized and she didn't even have anything to apologize for."

Cyborg threw his arms up into the air. "Well, what would you have wanted me to do? Tell Robin to lighten up? That would have just set him off more."

"You could have SAID something. Like that you believe me. Or just talked to me so I could calm down and actually THINK. You could have stood by me. Or you could have come to talk to me AFTER everything happened. You all wanted to talk to me, but no one wanted to talk about what happened. You all just wanted everything to go back to normal." Beast Boy was visibly angry now, something Cyborg wasn't used to. This had obviously been building up.

"I'm sorry I didn't do any of that. I guess I thought it would just bounce off you like everything else does."

"Nothing just 'bounces' off of me, Cy." Beast Boy shook his head. "I don't want to talk anymore."

"Too bad. I'm not done talking. It's not fair for you to be mad at me and not let me know about it. I've been trying to get you out of your room for weeks!"

"Yeah, you're always ready to do fun stuff with me, but when things get bad you keep your distance."

"You know that's not true."

"Yes it is! The whole time I kept expecting you to say something, to stand up for me!"

"I'm sorry." Cyborg walked over and sat next to his friend. "I was a little stressed out, y'know? I wasn't thinking that clearly. I was concerned about you."

"That's just it! What good is being concerned if you don't do anything about it? It's great that you were able to find out what was wrong and create an antidote and all that stuff, but you changed the way I view our friendship." Beast Boy was struggling to get words out. It was embarrassing for him to be this open about what he feels, especially with someone who he mostly jokes around with. "What am I supposed to do when I have problems if I can't go to my friends?"

"You know you can always come to us. This was a bad deal, but I'm sure that none of us actually believed it was your fault. I know I di-" He was cut off.

"I don't know that. Here's a question: What if I have a problem that IS my fault. Think about all the crap teenagers go through these days and it's practically considered 'normal.' What if I make horrible choices and get myself into a mess? I wouldn't come to you guys about it because you'd all turn on me. Robin would lecture me about how if I'm not stable I can't be on the team, and you would stand back and wait to see what happens."

Cyborg frowned and his voice became very serious. "You don't have a problem like that, do you?"

"No. They were just examples." Beast Boy didn't let it show, but he felt slightly good about being able to make Cyborg concerned. Maybe he did care. But that didn't make up for anything.

"Would you tell me if you did?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "I don't really know right now."

"I'm not okay with that."

"It's not my fault." Beast Boy stood up and started heading towards the door. "I'm going out."

"Gar."

Beast Boy stopped and turned around. It wasn't often that any of his friends would use his real name. "What."

"What can I do to fix this? I didn't mean to lose your trust, and I'm sorry."

Beast Boy searched his friend's face, looking for sincerity. He found what he was looking for. "I'm not really sure. I think I believe you but… it's just hard to KNOW. I think it'll mostly just take time." He stood there for a minute before walking back and sitting by Cyborg. "It's been pretty sucky. You know, spending the last couple weeks without you."

Cyborg gave him a half smile. "Tell me about it."

Beast Boy smiled back. They sat in silence for a while, just thinking. Finally Beast Boy made a decision. His mind was still struggling with whether he was okay with what happened or not, but he did know that he forgave Cyborg and that he would be able to trust him again in time. He thought for a while longer about how he could tell Cyborg that without sounding even cheesier than he already had, but decided that Cyborg would figure it out himself. "So…what are we gonna do now?"

"We're done fighting?"

"Mhm. I thought you had all this stuff planned for us to do."

Cyborg shook his head, but he was smiling. "Yep, all kinds of stuff."

"So…" Beast Boy put on his best smile. "Can I really drive the T-Car?"

"No."

"Hey, you said I could!"

"You're talking to me again. That offer isn't open anymore."

The two boys stood up and made their way out to the kitchen, arguing the whole way. It was the most fun they'd had for weeks.


	10. Guilt  Part 3

I thought about this chapter for a long time, and I don't know what you're going to think about it. It will be short, but it's not the end. I'll come back to this subject. Speaking of not knowing what you guys will think... I don't really know what you think about most of it. Ha. It's just that so few people leave reviews... I like reviews. I want to know what you guys want and what you think about stuff that went down. I'm especially curious about what you thought about the last chapter. (I had some fun making Cyborg and Beast Boy argue, and I got a bit serious in there too.) I'm not begging for reviews, just letting you know that I LIKE them and will try to incorporate your ideas. Anyway, onto the story! Oh, if the thoughts confuse you: if it's behind something Robin said, it's his thought. If it's behind something Beast Boy said, it's his. Hope that's clear.

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><p>Guilt - Part 3<p>

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><p>"Beast Boy, can I talk to you in my office for a minute?"<p>

Beast Boy sighed. He'd been having a good day. He had spent the morning with Raven, listening to her read. She'd started reading out loud to him because she thought it would be good for him to at least HEAR books if he wasn't going to read them, and he actually found it soothing. Then he played games with cyborg until lunch. Then he helped Starfire make something actually edible for everyone. A good time was had by all.

Why did Robin have to ruin it?

He reluctantly followed Robin to his office. He tried to hide how uncomfortable he felt, but he knew it was useless. Robin picked up on everything.

Robin sat behind his desk, and Beast Boy sat in the chair opposite him.

"So...what's up?" Beast Boy tried to smile, but it wasn't easy.

"I just wanted to see how you've been doing."

"Oh. Um. I'm fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

Beast Boy shrugged.

"So... everything is alright? With you? With your powers?" _Smooooooth, Robin._

Beast Boy frowned. So that's what this was about. "Everything is fine, Robin." He tried his best to keep his voice even.

Robin sighed. "Alright, I'll get to the point. Cyborg told me that he's concerned about you. Something about you not being able to come to us if you had problems..."_Okay, maybe I pressured him into telling me what you guys talked about yesterday. Same thing..._

Beast Boy needed a moment to process this. "What? Cyborg talked to you about that?"

"Well, I asked him." _You can't really blame me. I walked past your room and heard you arguing. It would be wrong of me not to be concerned, right? _Robin had to struggle to keep himself focused. In his mind he was debating whether he was actually being a good friend or just nosy.

"Asked him about me? Why?" _Keep your voice calm. Even. Don't let him get to you._

"I just noticed that you've still been...kind of on edge. Like you're still angry at everyone." _That didn't really come out right._

"Well, I'm not mad at everyone." _Not everyone. Just you. _"He still shouldn't have talked to you."

"We're just worried about you."

"Whatever. If you guys think that talking about private stuff is going to make me trust you more, you're crazy." _Watch it... don't get mad._

"I just want you to be honest with us about-"

Beast Boy stood up and slammed his fist on the desk. "I haven't NOT been honest! I don't understand what the problem is! I was upset about how you guys treated me, I talked to him about it, I was completely honest about everything. I'm not doing anything wrong, so you should just DROP IT." _Watch it, Beast Boy._

Robin didn't even flinch. "Calm down." _Crap. He hates it when I say that._

"Why? Why should I? You think I'm going to lose control or something? You're just expecting me to mess up again, aren't you? Even before this you were always expecting me to mess up. Some friend you are." _You'll regret saying that later._

Robin frowned. To be honest, what Beast Boy was saying was bothering him. But he refused to let it show. He wasn't here to argue, he was here to make sure that Beast Boy wasn't in some sort of trouble that he wasn't telling them about. He needed to get the conversation back on track. "Maybe we should talk about this sometime when you're not so angry."

"We're not going to talk about this anymore, Robin. I already know all I need to know about your 'concerns.' I'm not having any trouble with my powers, with my life, with anything. Anything but you." _Ouch...that was harsh. But didn't he deserve it? _"I'm done talking."

Beast Boy got up and walked out, not even waiting for a response.

Robin stood up and called after him. "Gar...just know you can come and talk to me if you need to, okay?"

It was really the only thing he'd meant to say, and Beast Boy didn't even hear him say it.

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><p>I'm sorry. But you didn't think it would be that easy, did you? I feel like Robin tries so hard to appear leader-like that he breaks the trust that his friends have in him instead of strengthening it. And yes, it is supposed to be frustrated to read, because those two NEVER say what they SHOULD say.<p> 


	11. Question

Alright…ahha. A few notes. This chapter is weird. I don't know what I was thinking. But I'm posting it because a few of you might find it interesting. The basic idea is: Beast Boy fills out an e-mail survey and thinks about things. HA! Seriously, it's stupid. I'm not really looking for critiques on this one because I was really just writing whatever I was thinking. I took the survey from a collection of surveys for people to use. I was just thinking about how some of the questions get me thinking about things and wondered what he would think of some of the questions. BTW, I was looking at the FF.N guidelines to make sure I wasn't doing anything that was against the rules, and I noticed that a lot of people on this site have probably never read them.

Ignore weird wording and grammar in Beast Boy's answers. I wasn't sure if I should misspell some things or not, but I went with not because it would be super annoying. But I'm not going to proofread them, so if there are misspelled words, you can blame Beast Boy and not me.

Also, I'm not BBxTerra, but there's no denying he liked the girl, okay? This isn't long after the last chapter, so BB is still a little ticked at Robin. And the broken bone thing? I read that Beast Boy can heal broken bones in a matter of seconds… at least in the comics? So I just went with it. Ugh, one more thing, of course I didn't leave in all fifty questions. WAY too many. Stupid long author note! I'm done.

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><p>119. Question<p>

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><p>It was one of the most boring days ever, at least according to Beast Boy. It wasn't that there was nothing to do, it was that Robin had all KINDS of things for him to do, and he didn't want to do any of them. To avoid running into Robin and being forced to do all these things Beast Boy locked himself in his room, and that is why it was the most boring day ever.<p>

He spent a few hours looking at lolcats, another few watching fail videos. It was fun and all, but a person can only stand so much of watching people fall.

Suddenly, his laptop made what he called the yes-I-finally-got-a-message noise. He was almost excited, thinking someone was going to talk to him (as long as it wasn't Robin) but was disappointed when he read the title. "FWD: 50 little secrets. Be honest."

"Uugh, a survey."

A certain alien friend of his had a bad habit of forwarding every chain she received. He was about to delete it, but the shrugged and opened it.

"Might as well do it. I have nothing else to do."

**50 little secrets. Be honest.**

**Zero - Who was your last text from?**

He had to shake his head. If the questions were all like this he wouldn't even finish half of it.

_I don't get why there's a number zero. Zero is supposed to be nothing, right? Whatever. I don't text… I don't have a phone, or money for a phone. I have a communicator. The last person to call me on that was Robin to tell me to do the dishes. _

**One - Who's your best friend?**

At first it seemed like an easy question, but then he stopped to think about it.

_Well… I guess it's Cyborg. Because we get each other. He's like my big brother, and I don't know where I would be without him. But sometimes I think of the words "best friend" and don't know if I like them. Because even though Cyborg's my best friend it doesn't mean that he means more to me than everyone else. I know this will sound cheesy, but I love all my friends so much, there's no way to put them in an order or anything. I'm afraid that if we were putting everyone in order of importance, I wouldn't be at the top of anyone's list. _

**Two - Where was your default pic taken?**

_I'm not on Facebook, dude. This is an e-mail and I don't even have a picture on here. But I do have a picture on my desk of all of us, and that was taken at the park. We're all smiling even though I know Robin wanted to kill me because I totally spilled soda all over his shirt. Haha!_

**Two- Your relationship status?**

He wasn't really sure what he'd call his sort-of-almost girlfriend pretending to not remember him.

_Single. _

**Three- Have you ever lost a close friend?**

He'd lost a lot of people. He'd lost his parents, but he'd barely known them. He'd lost the Doom Patrol, or thought he had. He'd made friends for a short amount of time and then grown apart from them. He'd almost lost his best friends countless times, but they were still with him. Of course, there was her…

_Yeah… Lots of friends, but I lost a pretty close one kind of recently. Or maybe we weren't close, maybe I just thought we were. I don't know._

**Four- What's your current mood?**

_Not as good as it was before because of that last question. _

**Five - What's your sister(s) names?**

_? I don't have a sister. But I have Starfire, who is like a sister. I guess you could say Raven is like a sister too, but I feel awkward calling her that for some reason. _

**Six - Where do you wish you were right now?**

For a moment, he was hit with memories of Africa. His parents, the plants, the animals… He associated so many good feelings with the continent. But there were other memories, too. Things like needles, water, and loneliness. Things he didn't want to remember.

_I've kind of wanted to visit Africa again lately. But I don't know if I'd like it or hate it_.

**Seven - Have a crazy side?**

_I think all my sides are crazy. HA!_

**Eight - Ever had a near death experience?**

_Like a million! I'm a superhero, dude. _

**Nine - Something you do a lot?**

_Almost die. ^^^^^_

**Ten - Angry at anyone?**

He frowned and thought of his little talk with Robin. Of course he was still angry.

_At Robin, sort of. But hey, we've all had angry-at-Robin days, right? I'm not like SUPER mad or anything, sort of. I'd feel better if he'd say more than "do the dishes!" to me. _

**Eleven - What's stopping you from going for the person you like?**

He really wished they would stop it with the Terra questions.

_Either she's dead, has amnesia, or she wants nothing to do with me. It would stop you too. Also, I'm slowly starting to feel better. I'm pretty sure I'd just make things worse by going after her again._

**Twelve - When was the last time you cried?**

_Ummm. I'm not gonna say._

**Thirteen - Is there anyone you would do anything for?**

_Raven, Cyborg, Starfire, Robin. It's funny, cuz I say that even though I still haven't done those dishes Robin wanted me to do._

**Fifteen- What were you doing yesterday at 10:00?**

_AM or PM? AM: Sleeping! PM: Video games! _

**Eighteen - What is your favorite song?**

_Okay, okay, don't tell anyone, but I really like the song "Defying Gravity" from Wicked. Don't tell anyone! I hated how in the musical the one lady was all like "her green skin is just a manifestation of her twisted nature!" or whatever she said. Haha, how rude! _

**Nineteen - What are you doing right now?**

_Singing "Defying Gravity." Your fault. _

**Twenty - Who do you trust right now?**

That was a complicated question. He would usually say that he trusted his friends, but recently that trust had been shaken.

_My friends. Mostly. _

**Twenty one - Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?**

_Doom Patrol….? Does it even count as a shirt? I dunno…_

**Twenty four - Describe your current life in one word.**

_WEIRD._

**Twenty five - What are you thinking of right now?**

_How weird my life is. Your fault. _

**Twenty six - What should you be doing right now?**

_The dishes. Darnit!_

**Twenty nine - Who was the last person who yelled at you?**

_Robin._

**Thirty three - Who was the last person to make you mad?**

_Robin. Makes sense considering the last question, eh?_

**Thirty five - Is your hair naturally curly or straight?**

_It's like spikey and weird. I dunno. It goes where it wants_.

**Thirty six - Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?**

_No… But I'm sure they've thought it!_

**Thirty eight - Gone skinny dipping in the past week?**

_Does it count if I'm a fish? Otherwise, no. _

**Thirty nine - Do you use smiley faces on the computers?**

_Well, I did, but then Raven said it was annoying and that I should "start learning how to express myself with actual words." I'm showing her, right! I'm just going to express myself with lots of these!-_

**Forty - Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?**

_Nope, but I've changed forms!_

**Forty - one - Are you happy with life right now?**

_Well…kind of? I'm happy with my friends and what I do, but sometimes I'm a whiney teenager who feels bad about himself and wishes for certain things to be different. But I do that in my head. _

**Forty - two - Are you currently jealous?**

He had to stop and think for a minute. Sure he was jealous of some people sometimes. He was jealous of normal people sometimes. People who could blend in and not have people staring at them all the time. He was jealous of Terra and her new "normal" life. He was jealous of her friends who get to be with her and do normal person stuff with her. Then sometimes he wasn't jealous of them at all. He wouldn't trade his powers and his spot with the Titans for anything at all. He was unique, and people would kill to be able to do what he does.

_I don't think that's the right word. _

**Forty four - What are you doing Friday night?**

_It IS Friday night, and I'm doing a stupid survey. LAME._

**Forty five - Ever broken a bone?**

_I have, but I break my bones every time I change. When a bone breaks, I can just… fix it. _

**Forty six - Have you ever broken someone's heart?**

He pushed away the image of him telling Terra that she has no friends.

_I didn't mean to._

**Forty seven - Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?**

After that last question he was sort of disappointed in himself.

_Yeah. Myself. I mean, not just myself. I'm disappointed in some other people too. But mostly me right now. I shock myself sometimes with how mean I can be. I used to think I was super nice, and then I think about how I talked to Terra, and the stuff I say to Raven sometimes, or what I said to Robin the other day, and I think I'm a jerk. _

**Forty Eight - What are you looking forward to?**

_Dinner. I'm starving! (I feel so bipolar.)_

**Forty Nine - Are you good in school?**

_I'm not in school. But if I was in it, I don't think I'd be that good. I can't pay attention to anything. I bet the others would be, though. It's amazing how smart they all are! Some people think Starfire is ditzy, but that's because they don't know her. I'm the not-smart one in the group. _

**Fifty- Lyrics to the song you're listening to?**

_No Wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring meeeee dooooooooooooooooooown! _

He laughed and deleted the survey. There was NO WAY he was going to send that to his friends after some of the stuff he put in there. It had sure felt good to reflect on things and even vent a little bit, but he wasn't ready to be that open.

He'd just shut his laptop when someone knocked on his door. He must have been distracted to not hear them coming. He opened the door and frowned when he saw it was Robin.

"Hey… I was just coming to tell you to get to those dishes…but, um. Were you just belting showtunes?"


	12. Found

57. Found

* * *

><p>The air was hot and the tears in his blue eyes made it hard for him to see. He didn't know where he was. All he knew was that there were trees, and that his parents weren't there.<p>

He heard a noise and turned to see a curious bird looking at him.

He rubbed his eyes and stared at the bird.

"I'm lost."

The bird flew away. Maybe it was going to find his parents for him.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

The plants and trees around him made it impossible to see very far, and the jungle was so full of noise that even if his parents were near he wouldn't be able to hear them.

He sat down and cried, burying his face in his arms. He gave up. He was lost and no one was ever going to find him.

Just as the thought entered his head, he heard running, and then felt gentle arms lift him up.

"Oh, Garfield! You scared me!"

It was his mom! She found him! He was so relieved that he began to cry harder, but now his mother was there to wipe away the tears.

"Never wander off like that again, sweetie. You could be lost for a long time, or something could hurt you. Then what would I do?" She smiled softly at him and ruffled his blonde hair.

He hugged her tightly around her neck. "You would come and try to find me, right?"

"Of course, Gar. I'd never leave you alone. You know that." She kissed his forehead. "Come on, let's go find your father. We're close to a breakthrough on our project."

"I love you, mommy."

"I love you too, Garfield."


	13. Help

72. Help

* * *

><p>Four of the Titans were sitting at the counter. It was almost time for the supper Cyborg made, but Beast Boy wasn't home. Beast Boy wasn't known for being on time, so no one was worried and they were all chatting on as normal. The day had been a good one and the mood in the tower was, overall, a happy one. That changed very quickly as the door opened and their friend walked in.<p>

Everyone turned to greet him before stopping and staring. He walked in slowly, carefully. His face was sad and a bit nervous, and his arms were crossed awkwardly in front of him.

Robin got up from to table. "Is something wrong, Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy tried to put on a confident smile, but the nervous look didn't go away. "Um. I, um. I saved a cat."

He moved one of his arms to show the others that he had a little grey kitten tucked in the other one. The kitten's face was pressed against Beast Boy's chest. It was asleep.

Starfire flew over and stroked the kitten's fur. "How adorable! But tell us, how did you save her?"

Beast Boy smiled at her. "Him. And well..." He frowned. This was the part he wasn't excited about. "I adopted him."

Suddenly Robin realized why Beast Boy had seemed so nervous. He sighed. "Beast Boy, we already have a pet, who, by the way, was also your idea. We can't have a cat."

"But Robin-"

"I'm serious. You shouldn't just bring things home without talking to me first, it-"

Beast Boy motioned for him to stop, then gently moved the kitten to wake him. The kitten turned his head and looked around, surprised. Starfire let out a little gasp. The kitten was missing an eye, and the skin around where its eye should be was badly scarred.

Starfire stroked the kitten's head, sadly. "Oh, my."

By now Raven and Cyborg had come to inspect the cat too. Raven asked, "What happened to him?"

"I don't know. But he needs me." He looked at Robin pleadingly. "No one wanted him. He was all alone in a cage and no one wanted him because he looked different. They would have put him to sleep. He needs me."

Robin sighed. He thought for a moment, while dangling his finger in front of the kitten. He had to smile when the kitten swatted at him. It _was_ kind of cute. And he understood why Beast Boy felt he needed to keep him.

"Alright, you can keep him. But you have to take care of him. And only him, I don't want any more surprises."

Beast Boy smiled widely and hugged him. "Thank you, Robin!" He _knew_ Robin wouldn't be able to say no.

"Um. You're welcome."

Beast Boy ran off to get supplies for his new friend, thrilled to be able to help someone, even if it was just a little kitten.

* * *

><p>I dunno, I'm holding my cat. Thus I write about cats.<p>

Alright, guys. I need some opinions. I've been reading some books about substance abuse and it has inspired a story, but it's short and I thought I'd put it in here as a couple of one-shots. But it'd be pretty dark and I'm not sure if that's something people would like or not. (I'd still do funny stuff.) Anyway. Let me know what you think.


	14. Drug

Hey, guys. Before I say anything, I actually have some art for this chapter on my dA. Link to my page is on my bio.

So... I don't know about posting this. I don't know if I like it, and I feel like it rambles. But I like the idea and the bromance so I'm going to give it a shot. The main reason I wanted to write something like his is because some books gave me the idea and also I don't like most of the stories on here about the subject. I find that most of them are written by people who haven't had a friend who actually did something like this, and I don't think people understand how addictions work or that someone doesn't need to be super-depressed to make the mistake of trying to help themselves with drugs. I also wanted to show how friends will sometimes ignore obvious warning signs and accept any excuse because they don't want to believe that something is wrong. For the record, I mostly had him use pain meds, but there's some other stuff mixed in there...

Here's some problems I had:

1. I feel like my timeline is weird. I realize this is probably because most stories I read have people get physically addicted like,_ right away. _Memoirs I have read and stories I've heard from friends, though, tell me that while that is possible in some cases, with a lot of people they're mentally addicted for a while before actually becoming physically addicted to a drug. How quickly someone becomes addicted depends on so many things... I decided that in this case I wouldn't make BB that far gone in a few weeks. But he's teetering on the edge.

On the other hand, I feel like things go out of control very quickly. But I see BB as a pretty extreme person, and I once he starts something, he totally goes for it. Also, I sort of see him as a pretty reckless person. He does things and then thinks about it later. I'd also like to note that this ends before he needs to deal with actually getting off of the stuff. Things aren't just magically better, even if it ends on a happy note. BUT I don't think this will be canon to the rest of my stories on here...they've all kind of been connected so far, but I don't know if I'll ever reference this again.

2. I'm NEVER WRITING IN FIRST PERSON AGAIN. I didn't not what I was doing, and I KNOW that I messed up the tense and everything multiple times. Each time I read through it I found more problems. I finally just gave up. Forgive me.

3. This is LONG. I even cut stuff out. Like, all the stuff that they're going to do to help him got cut. (Just know that they know what they're doing. HA!)

4. I feel bad for leaving Starfire out so much.

Anyway. This author's note is too long. To sum it up: Read at your own risk.

**Edit: Added more description because it needed it. Too much diologue, not enough detail. It was hard, though. Not long after I wrote this, certain things happened that make this story hit too close to home for me. Suddenly, this subject seems less interesting and more scary to me. So yeah, it's still lacking in the description area because I don't feel like re-reading this too much. **

* * *

><p>45. Drug<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Cyborg<strong>

I had to admit that it was unsettling when he asked me for the holo-rings. I was surprised because Beast Boy was never really someone who liked to blend in. Sure, he would talk about being normal sometimes, but his green skin got him attention, and that was something that he loved. I knew that given the choice, he would never give up being unique.

"Why?"

He shrugged, but I noticed he didn't look at me. "I just want to be able to go places sometimes without having people stare at me."

I understood. I didn't like walking around and having people gape at me. I didn't see it as such a big deal, so I made them for him. I had to do some guessing, but I made the hologram as close to what he would look like as I could.

He looked nervous when I gave them to him. I guessed it was because he wasn't sure what to expect. He'd never seen his "normal" self except in pictures. But he took them anyway and stood in front of the mirror in my room. When he put them on his skin turned white, his hair blonde, and his eyes blue.

He stood for a minute with his eyes closed, probably too nervous to look right away. When he finally opened them, I thought he was going to cry.

"I look like my dad."

I didn't know what to say.

**Robin**

Beast Boy went out tonight with holo-rings on that Cyborg gave him. I wanted to talk to him about being responsible and how someone could still recognize him, but I decided that was a bad idea. He was still ticked off at me for not trusting him. I decided I'd trust him with this. I was just worried because he had seemed so…distracted lately. I wanted to know where he was going at night by himself.

**Beast Boy**

It was so strange… walking around without people watching me. I had thought that just changing my color wouldn't do much, but I guess no one really looked at me. I wondered if my friends would even know it was me if they didn't know I was wearing these things. It was late anyway, and there weren't many people around. It was getting dark and I was getting uncomfortable.

My chest hurt. I guessed it was a mix of guilt and nervousness. I didn't get nervous a lot and I didn't like it. I hoped that I would be able to make it go away. The guilt too.

I couldn't imagine not feeling guilty, though. I had lied to my best friend. Sure, I had a reason, but it wasn't even a good reason. He would have killed me if he had known. But it wasn't like I was going to make a habit of it.

_Two Weeks Later_

**Cyborg **

Beast Boy sure has been…um, _moody_ this week. On the plus side, he was happier this week than he had been lately, but he was also acting strange. There were some times when he just seemed angry. He was snapping at me more than usual... and not in a joking way either. I think he was just tired. He kept falling asleep while we were playing video games. He was lucky we didn't have any major battles recently. I told him to get some rest. I decided that if he kept it up I'd talk to him about it.

**Robin**

Beast Boy came to talk to me today. He seemed incredibly tired. Normally he would move quickly and be sort of twitchy like a little animal. But today he just shuffled in and sat down my office chair, sort of slumped over, and was pretty listless.

"I think I need to take a break from fighting… I think I might be sick or something. My powers aren't working right."

I looked him over. He definitely wasn't looking good. In the past two weeks he seemed to go from perfectly healthy to looking like, well… a mess. His clothes were hanging off of him and his hair was hanging in front of his eyes.

"Is everything alright? Should I get Cyborg to take a look at you?"

"No!" He yelled almost instantly, cutting me off. I stared at him and he seemed to catch himself before saying, "I mean… I just don't want any needles, you know? I think I'll be fine." He chuckled a little. "It's just that around this time a lot of animals are hibernating and I think that my powers are messing me up. I should be good in about a month. Lately I've been more affected by these things."

I waited a minute to respond. Something didn't feel right. But what did I know about his powers? Everything that he said made sense, so why shouldn't I believe him? It would explain his appearance too. I thought maybe I should accept his explanation. He deserved trust anyway, after the way I botched the Adonis incident.

"Have you been eating?"

He shook his head. "Not much. I haven't been hungry."

"You need to. You're losing too much weight."

He looked down at himself like he hadn't noticed and pulled on his clothes. "Huh."

"And you need to get some sleep. You look exhausted."

He grinned at me. "Okay, I get it. I look like a mess. I'll eat. I'll sleep. I promise."

I relaxed and had to smile a bit. Maybe I'm being paranoid. He's still himself.

"Alright. Stay home for a month. Get some rest. But I'm going to make sure you're taking care of yourself, okay?"

"Okay, Robin. Thanks." He got up and started to leave.

"One more thing."

He stopped and looked back at me.

I had to work to get myself to say what came next. "I'm sorry."

He looked surprised. "For what?"

"For everything. For not trusting you, for our fighting. You know, for all of that." Well, it could have been _more_ awkward. I uncrossed my arms and tried to look sincere Of course, I _was _sincere, but I had a habit of always looking too serious. I even managed to smile at him. "I really am."

He smiled a little. "It's okay. I'm not mad anymore." He paused. "I'm sorry, too."

He left before I could ask what he was sorry for.

**Raven**

Sometimes I had to wonder why I seemed to be the only person who noticed the strange things that went on in the tower.

I also had to wonder why these strange things always had something to do with Beast Boy.

"Starfire, have you noticed Beast Boy acting differently lately?"

She was sitting next to me on the couch snuggling the kitten, who Beast Boy had named 'Frodo.' It was a cute scene, but I wouldn't say that out loud.

"Yes, friend Raven, I have. I have spoken to Robin about it and he has told me that our friend is simply having trouble with his powers and should be returned to normal soon."

I tried to go back to my book, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I could always explore his mind to make sure he was really okay, but that would be an invasion of privacy. I only did that in extreme cases, and those cases usually involved criminals, not my friends. Also, did it even matter to me if Beast Boy decided to be bipolar all of a sudden? It wouldn't be the first time I didn't understand his actions.

I decided that if things don't improve 'soon' I'd take matters into my own hands.

**Beast Boy**

I had to admit to myself that it had gone farther than I wanted it to. And sometimes I did get worried, but I could make it go away. It's not like it was hurting me. I had been a little irritable and I'd been talking to myself more than usual, but that was it.

I sat on my bed, mumbling to myself so I wouldn't feel lonely. "Everyone's on my case. Asking me questions, telling me to sleep... Do this, do that…" I pulled out a pill bottle from behind my bed and dumped the contents onto my sheet. There were about five different kinds of pills, all different shapes and colors. I picked out one of the white ones. I had stolen the others from a dealer a few days before. Of course I felt guilty about it. I'd never considered myself someone who would steal something. Especially drugs. But I'd panicked when I realized I was already out, and it was so _easy._ The white ones were starting to stop working so I picked a few others. I knew that other people who did this would eventually start shooting to get more out of it. I shuddered at the idea of it. "Ugh, I hate needles. Never, ever." It was also super uncomfortable to snort it, so I stuck with chewing and swallowing.

Regardless of how much I had, I knew I had to stop. I'd stolen, lied to my friends, I couldn't use my powers like normal because I couldn't focus, and I was starting to not care about all that. I'd only meant it as a one-time thing. I needed _something_, but I had gotten this idea in my head and couldn't get it out. I needed to know what it was like, to see if it would help with the problem I had... and once I'd tried it I wanted to try it once more and then once more until I didn't really feel good without them. It hadn't been long, and I knew I wasn't addicted. I had a whole month of free time, I could be done with it by then.

I hid the pill bottle away again and surveyed my room. It was a mess again. I missed the ease of having a clean room, but I didn't have much motivation to clean it. Or to do much of anything else. But that was better than the alternative.

"Everything is completely under control."

_One Week Later_

**Cyborg**

"Something is wrong with BB."

Robin looked up from his paper. "Huh?"

I shut the door to his office and sat down. "Beast Boy. Something is wrong with him. You haven't noticed?"

"I think he's been avoiding me. I've hardly seen him at all."

"Well, he's really off. I think he might be _on_ something." I wasn't even trying to hide how worried I was. I couldn't talk to BB about it until I made sure that Robin didn't know something that I didn't. The problem with having superhero friends is that sometimes things can get weird and you don't really need to be worried about it.

Robin looked surprised and set his paper down on the desk. "Why do you think that?"

"Here's what happened: I asked BB to come play some video games with me because he's spent so much time in his room lately, but he didn't seem to want to. I finally convinced him to come out and… well, he was just weird. He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. He could hardly play the game because he was so drowsy and he kept…giggling at things. I don't mean the normal way he does either. When I asked him what was going on he told me nothing, and when I pushed harder he just started crying! Like, sobbing. Starfire came over to ask him what was wrong and he swore at her and told her to mind her own business before running out of the room. I know he's been feeding us this story about his powers, but I think he's lying. This isn't normal, even when he's at his weirdest." It felt like my chest was on fire. It was so hard to accept this as a possibility.

Robin put a hand up. "Let's not jump to conclusions. I'm sure there's some explanation. We could be dealing with something completely different. I mean, we would notice if he had a problem, wouldn't we?" I could tell he was worried, but Robin never likes to show what he's feeling. His face stayed expressionless, but I noticed the way he fiddled with his pencil and tapped his foot. You can't hide nervous tics from a guy with a mechanical memory.

I didn't think he'd need much more convincing. "I think we've all noticed that he's been off. I know I did, I just… wanted to believe his excuses. He's been hiding _something_ from us. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be hiding _himself_ from us."

Robin sighed. "What should we do?"

"I don't know, man."

"I don't either."

**Beast Boy**

I heard a knock on my door and panicked. I did a quick check of my room to make sure everything was hidden. As if anyone could find anything in this room. Maybe the mess was a blessing in disguise? Once I was sure it was safe I opened the door. It was Starfire.

She looked nervous. "Hello, friend. I have come to apologize."

I was honestly shocked. "For what?"

"For earlier."

It took a moment, but I finally remembered what she was talking about. Well, sort of remembered. It wasn't the clearest memory I'd ever had. Suddenly I felt very guilty. "Oh, Star, don't be sorry about that. I should be sorry. I didn't mean what I said." I really hadn't meant to blow up, and I really was sorry. I hoped she could hear and see that I meant it. I would never intentionally hurt Starfire.

This seemed to relax her a bit. "It is just… I have been worried for you."

I tried to smile. "Don't worry about me." I put as much happiness in my voice as I could. "I'm already feeling better! I've just been so tired."

She didn't seem convinced. "If you need me, I am here."

"I know, Star."

When she left I sat down on my bed and thought for a long time. I wasn't just hurting myself anymore. I was sure I freaked the heck out of Cyborg, and I knew I had hurt Starfire. Someone probably already talked to Robin about what happened.

Everything was so out of control.

But really, what business was it of theirs what I do or how I act? Just because I was the youngest didn't mean everyone needed to play parent with me all the time. I suddenly felt very angry. Why should I have to give something up for them? They didn't have the authority to tell me what to do!

I was startled by movement and was instinctually ready to attack before realizing that it was just my reflection in my mirror. I stood up and moved closer, studying myself.

I noticed that I didn't look like myself anymore. My hair was too long, almost covering my eyes, and messier than usual. I was thinner than I used to be, too, which is probably bad considering I as pretty thin before. And I looked so… sad.

Suddenly, I was on my knees with shattered glass all around me. I didn't understand what happened. Did I hit the mirror? Why did I do that? My hands were bleeding, but I couldn't feel them. Why couldn't I feel them? I should have been able to feel my hands!

I ran my hands and arms along the glass, trying to feel something. It cut me, but I only felt numb. That wasn't okay.

What was wrong with me?

**Robin**

I was on my way to talk to Beast Boy when I heard a crash. Conveniently it was coming for his room. The door wasn't locked, so I didn't bother knocking.

The image that greeted me was Beast Boy kneeling on the floor, surrounded by broken glass and bleeding from cuts all over his arms. He was obviously shocked to see me, and I'm assuming my face was almost as shocked as his was.

I had no idea what to say, so I didn't say anything. I walked over, carefully grabbed one of his arms, and started leading him to the med bay. Neither of us said anything, but I was too overwhelmed to feel awkward about it.

Once we were there I started pulling out pieces of glass and cleaning the cuts. Neither of us talked, neither of us looked at each other. When I had finished bandaging him, I pointed to one of the beds.

"Get some rest. We're going to have a talk soon, okay?"

He nodded.

**Beast Boy**

That was it. I'd been caught. There's no way I could explain what I did. I didn't even understand it myself.

I pulled a few pills out of my pocket. I figured that I might as well use what I had. They'd find the rest.

**Cyborg**

"I think you were right."

I turned around to see Robin holding his hands up. His gloves were bloody. "Right about what? What happened to your gloves?"

"I wasn't able to help BB to the med bay without getting some of his blood on me."

_"What?"_

"He had a fight with his mirror." I hadn't seen him worried like this for a while. Normally when he's anxious about something it's a criminal, or he's having trouble with Starfire. He wasn't even bothering with the calm and collected leader act anymore. "I think you're right about him being 'on something.' Either way, something's wrong."

"Where is he?"

"Still in the med bay."

I dropped what I was doing and went to Beast Boy's room to search. Robin followed me. His room was in worse shape than ever, everything was strewn over the floor and most of it was torn up, probably by claws. We found what we were looking for almost immediately, despite the mess. A bottle of random pills, a bag of…something…and a couple syringes.

Robin shook his head. "I don't believe this."

I felt like hitting something. "I don't understand it."

"What's going on?"

We turned to see Raven and Starfire standing in the doorway. We made no attempt to hide what was in our hands.

Raven's face hardly changed, and Starfire looked confused. Raven suddenly turned and headed for the med bay. She must have sensed where he was. The rest of us followed after her, not knowing what she was planning on doing.

Beast Boy was asleep on the first bed. We all stopped for a minute, like we didn't know what to do. I was torn between wanting to hug him and wanting to scream at him. Finally Raven shook his shoulder. "Beast Boy, wake up."

He didn't wake up. This time I tried. "Come on, BB."

He didn't open his eyes, but he did respond, slurring his words a bit. "I'm tired, leave me alone."

I'd had it. I went over to the sink, filled the water pitcher with cold water, walked back, and dumped it on his head.

"AHH!" That woke him up. He looked around, shocked. "What…?"

Gradually he started to realize where he was, though it was obvious that he was out of it. He almost seemed to shrink as he realized that we were all here, looking at him.

I motion to Robin, who's holding the drugs we found. "Mind telling us what this is, BB?"

He looked me in the eyes, something he hadn't done in a long time. "Please, don't take them away from me." His voice was small, pleading.

"Are you serious?! You really think we're just going to let you keep doing this?!" I was yelling. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't help it.

He was crying now. "I can't talk with everyone in here looking at me!"

Raven put a hand on Starfire's arm. "Maybe we should go out and wait." Starfire, who was crying, nodded. Raven led her out.

I knew I was staying, and Robin seemed intent on staying too, so once the girls were gone I tried again. "Do you really think we're not going to stop this?"

He wiped his eyes and pushed his wet hair back. "I'm stopping by myself."

"Really? How long have you been trying to do that?"

He was obviously struggling to think. "Um. A week. Or something. But I'm working on it. Everything is okay. I can't just stop all together!"

"You can. And you will. I'm calling someone ASAP and getting as much info as I can on all of this, and we're getting you off of it."

Beast Boy looked horrified. I didn't know if it was because of my threat, or if it was because I was getting so angry I was crying. "I don't get this! Why would you do this to yourself!"

Robin stepped in front of me. "Cy, I think I need to talk to Beast Boy alone."

"But I-"

"You need to calm down."

I looked over Robin's head at Beast Boy. He had his arms around himself and he was staring right back at me. He looked so pathetic and I realized that I was only making things worse by yelling at him. "Alright. I'll be waiting." I turned to walk out.

I heard a small voice behind me say "I'm sorry, Cyborg" but I didn't look back.

**Beast Boy**

I felt like I was dying when he walked out. I could have just lost my best friend. He was so mad at me and I'd never seen him cry before…

What kind of horrible person _was _I?

Since my mind was clearing up, I was able to fully appreciate how much I sucked.

I had almost forgotten Robin was in the room when I noticed him watching me.

"Hey."

"Hey." He sat on the edge of the bed. "Let's talk."

I shook my head. It hurt. "I don't really want to."

"I think it'll help. And I'm going to stay here whether you talk or not."

I sighed. "What are we talking about?"

"Why did you start this?"

"I was curious, I guess… I was stressed and started thinking about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it until I knew what it was like."

"And?"

"And it was nice. I felt good. I wanted to keep feeling good."

"What's wrong with how you feel normally?"

I had to look away from him. "There was nothing wrong. I made a stupid decision even though my life is perfectly fine. Now I don't feel okay without it." I don't know why I was telling him that. It wasn't even really the truth. I'd always been a horrible liar. I doubted he'd buy it.

"What are you using?"

I rattled off a few names. "I started with prescription stuff. It sounded safe." He shook his head like I had said something really stupid. I guess I had. "Yeah, I know. I kind of went overboard, I guess. It didn't last very long so I had to take a lot."

"Your metabolism is different than a normal human's."

"I know. I was only going to try it, but I liked it, you know?" I was rambling. But I hadn't realized how upset I was about the situation I was in until I was forced to face it, and it felt good to get everything out in the open. And it felt horrible at the same time. "I thought that just using that for a while would be fine, but I started to feel sad without it. And then what I was taking wasn't enough. And then yesterday I tried shooting…" I broke down. I hated needles, was terrified of them, and I actually stuck one in my own arm! I kept telling myself that it would be only once, but I'd said that before, too.

Robin shifted so he was sitting next to me and put an arm around me. I didn't know whether to be surprised or grateful, but it didn't matter because I needed it. I buried my face in my hands and just cried.

We just sat there for the longest time, me crying, and him just being there for me.

And I had doubted that he was my friend.

"It's going to be okay."

"Thank you."

**Cyborg**

I had just gotten off of the phone (a rarely used item in the tower) with a doctor I knew when Robin finally came out.

"What's going on?" I was feeling less angry about him making me leave. He had good reason to.

"He's agreed to stop. I told him he's not getting kicked off the team." He shook his head. "He seemed sure that if he told us, he'd be gone. I told him that we would never just make him leave without giving him a chance, and that even if he blew it again we'd get him some kind of help instead of throwing him out on the street. It also turns out that he stole some of what he had. I'll figure out a way for him to atone for that later, but right now we'll just focus on him kicking that habit." He paused, looking unsure of himself. "I tried really hard to just be his friend and not the 'leader.' I think it helped. I'm just trying to do the right thing. I wasn't really expecting this."

Despite how bad I was feeling, I was proud of him. "You did good, man. I guess I kind of blew it, didn't I?"

He shrugged. "You'll get another chance. Did you learn anything?" He motioned to the phone.

"A lot. I'm not completely ignorant on the subject, but it wasn't information I ever saw myself needing, so I thought I should double check some things. She's not happy about me wanting to help him myself instead of going to a 'real' doctor." I rolled my eyes. "As if normal doctors would even know where to begin with Beast Boy... Anyway, she told me what to do. But what to do depends on whether he's physically addicted or mentally addicted…among other things. And I don't know. I don't know how much he used, how his body reacts… I'll need to talk to him. I guess I'll do that now."

Robin looked skeptical. "Are you sure you can handle that?"

"I'm sure."

**Raven**

I should have seen this coming. I should have known that there was a reason for him not bothering me for two weeks. But I never would have guessed that that was it.

There were a lot of emotions trying to break through, but I was stronger than them. There were only flutters here and there of sadness, pity, and anger. And a little bit of something else. No matter what they were I couldn't dwell on them.

As I walked into the med bay I noticed that Beast Boy wasn't on the bed anymore. He was standing in front of the window.

I didn't say anything. I knew he had heard me come in. I sat on the bed, opened my book, and started reading.

"_It never occurred to us to doubt Jim Hawkins, but we were alarmed for his safety. With the men in the temper they were in, it seemed an even chance if we should see the lad again…"_

It had been almost three weeks since I had read to him, but he had been so engrossed in this particular book that I knew he'd remember where we were.

Beast Boy sat on the bed and rested his head on my shoulder. I could have pushed him off, but I didn't. I just kept reading.

**Cyborg**

I hadn't meant to walk in on something, but I interrupted Raven's reading. I was about to walk out when she motioned for me to come over.

"You should listen too. You need some culture."

I came over and sat down. I tried to meet Beast Boy's eyes, but he avoided mine.

Raven continued reading. It was very relaxing, despite the fact that I didn't know what happened in the beginning. It was also nice to see that Raven was doing something to help. Sometimes she seemed to know how to help him better than any of us.

When she finished the chapter she gave Beast Boy a small hug before standing up and leaving. She gave me a look, but I wasn't able to tell whether it was pity or a warning.

I turned my attention back to BB. He wouldn't look at me.

"Hey, buddy."

The tone of my greeting seemed to catch him off guard. "Hi."

"Are you okay?"

He just shook his head. He looked so tired.

"Want to talk about it?"

He shook his head again. His hand traced the letters on the book that Raven left for him.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's okay. I deserve to be yelled at."

"Well, yeah." It was an attempt at a joke, but it didn't work.

There was a very long, awkward silence.

I tried again. "What are you feeling right now?"

"Angry."

That wasn't the answer I was expecting. "Why?"

"I don't know. I've been feeling it a lot."

More silence.

"I'm going to be in charge of getting you clean. Do you think you can go cold turkey? If you're physically addicted we'll have to get you off it slowly."

He seemed annoyed by the topic. He frowned and flipped through pages, looking for the few pictures that were included in the book. "I was able to go without for a whole day a couple days ago. I just felt so depressed without it that I gave in." He shrugged. "I didn't always take the same thing and I never actually felt _sick_ without anything. I guess I'll live if I just stop." He didn't sound sure about it. But I knew that it was probably because he hated having decisions made for him.

"That's good. I mean, that'll make it easier."

He shrugged again. There was another awkward pause.

"Why did you do this, Gar?"

He finally looked at me. It hurt to see how different he looked. It had only been a few weeks, how could it be this bad? "Does it matter why?"

"Yes."

He shifted so he was sitting right in front of me. "Promise you won't tell." He said this very seriously. "I wouldn't even tell _you_ except I want you to understand so you won't hate me."

"I wouldn't hate you anyway. But I won't tell."

He looked away again. "I told Robin that I was just stressed out and curious. That's not really true. Since the thing with the chemicals I've felt…different. Like I can't relax. I feel like my mind is in a constant battle with itself. Sometimes I'm fine, but sometimes there are all these different animals in my head messing with me. It's not like I have urges to do animal like things…" He shuddered a little. "I mean, it could be worse... but it's more like every aspect of my personality has been totally amped up…in an animalistic way. Especially when I get mad. And that scares me. I just wanted something to calm me down, but I was sure no normal medicine would help me, so I tried something else. It just got a little out of hand. But I worried that things would have gotten out of control in a much worse way if I didn't do something." He looked at me again. "You don't know what it's like. It's scary."

"You should have come to us. I'd rather have a slightly out of control Beast Boy than some drugged up stranger." The words came out harsher than I meant them to. I understood better now, and I was less angry than I would have been had he been doing it for other reasons, but I still couldn't excuse it. I missed my best friend. I was mad at him for not coming to me about this.

He frowned at me. "I'm still me, Cy."

"I hardly see you and when I do you're either crazy happy or ticked off. That's not you."

His eyes widened slightly as if he'd come to some realization. "I guess it's not."

"We can deal with all the other stuff. Maybe Robin can-"

"NO! Robin can't know! If there was something wrong with _me _then I would be a danger to the team. I'd be kicked off. I'd rather be able to blame something else."

"Gar." I put my hand on his shoulder. "You wouldn't get kicked off the team. You're not the only one who has control problems sometimes. We didn't turn our backs on Raven, and we won't turn our backs on you." I waited until he was looking at me. "We all love you. I do, Starfire does, Robin does even if he acts like a jerk sometimes, and even Raven does. You wouldn't be able to leave even if you wanted to. We wouldn't let you."

It took a few minutes of thinking, but he finally relaxed. He wiped a few tears off his face and smiled at me. "Thanks, Vic. I love you, too." He leaned over and hugged me. What a sap.

I hugged him back. "I guess this means we're okay again?"

"Yeah, dude. We're great." He grinned and jumped off the bed. He faltered a bit and looked sick for a few seconds. He probably shouldn't have moved so fast. But he shook it off and smiled again. "I'm done talking about sad things. Today has been hard enough. I'm ready to be happy. We'll deal with everything else later."

"Sounds good to me." I knew that his good attitude would go away soon, but like he said, we'd deal with that later. At that moment he was happy and that was good enough for me.

There was a knock, and then Starfire floated in, carrying something in her hands. She made sure it was an appropriate moment to be happy before smiling and saying "I have cake!"

And she did have a cake, a normal Earth cake. Beast Boy smiled at her. "Great! You should go get Raven and Robin and we'll all have some!"

She made a noise that I can only describe as a 'squee.' "Glorious! I shall get them now!"

"Good! Oh, Star, wait a minute."

She paused and looked back. "Yes, friend?"

Beast Boy opened his arms wide. "I love you!"

She smiled even wider. "I love you too, little brother!" She set the cake down and flew over to give him a hug, then flew off to get the other two.

When she returned, Beast Boy jumped up and hugged Robin. "I love you!"

Robin awkwardly put an arm around him. "Um. I love you, too?"

Beast Boy laughed. "Is that a question?"

Robin shook his head and chuckled a little. "Um, no." Maybe one day he'd get over being awkward.

Beast Boy then turned to Raven and hugged her. "I love you, Rae."

She patted his back and didn't respond, but I saw a small smile on her face, and I can tell by the way Beast Boy smiled at her that he saw it too.

* * *

><p><strong>*hides face in embarrassment* <strong>


	15. Book

Something simple to make up for the last one. (That last one stresses me out SO much for some reason.)

Inspiration: I read to my husband.

* * *

><p>86. Book<p>

* * *

><p>"I must be dreaming."<p>

Beast Boy looked up from his spot on the couch to see Raven looking down at him. "Hmm?"

"You're reading."

He looked down at his book. "So I am. Why so surprised? I can read." He grinned at her. He'd known she would be impressed. Or maybe just surprised, but in his mind it was almost the same thing.

Raven leaned over to read the cover. "_The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. _Really?"

"Yeah. It's different than the movies and stuff."

She rolled her eyes. "Lots of books are." She sat down next to him. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah… I guess. It's not what I expected, but sometimes I like things I didn't think I would." He smiled at her. "I like books more when _you _read them to me."

Raven seemed to consider something for a moment before replying. "Well, maybe _you_ should read this one to _me_. I haven't read it in a while. And I can't do _all_ the work."

Beast Boy had to laugh. "Alright, we can take turns." He flipped back to the beginning of the book and began to read.

This eventually became a daily routine, and as strange as it was, reading soon became one of Beast Boy's favorite activities.


	16. Healing

Wow, I haven't updated in a LONG time. Sorry about that. This story is actually something I wrote on Tumblr. I accepted prompts for "drabbles." Obviously this got a bit out of hand and isn't a drabble. They gave me the word "healing" and I couldn't decide which Titan to do it for so I did it for all of them. Oops. It was also kind of a quick thing, but I haven't put anything on here in a while and I thought I'd upload it anyway.

I WILL keep writing on here, but I'm going to be fixing up the previous chapters before I write too much new stuff. I'm going to fix little typos I've noticed and add more description. So sorry about the wait! And for those of you that have made suggestions, I have NOT forgotten! I've been so busy... I had to put my cat down recently (after 10 years of having him) and I'm trying to earn some money. We tried very hard to keep him alive and it cost us a lot.

* * *

><p>Healing<p>

* * *

><p>Robin had never been much of a healer. He knew first aid and he had no problem setting bones or tying tourniquets, but when he pulled his friend's body out from the rubble he realized immediately that the damage was far too extreme for him to fix on his own.<p>

He didn't know howto treat the wounds of others well. He hadn't been trained to work on a team. If he had been this hurt, he wouldn't have been able to help himself anyway, and he supposed that the Bat had never assumed that Robin would be in the position to save him. Typical Bruce.

The fight was still going on, and to draw attention to himself or to Beast Boy would have been dangerous, so Robin remained hidden and did his best to stop the bleeding.

Maybe he couldn't fix him, but at least he could stop him from getting worse.

* * *

><p>Raven's healing ability had always puzzled her. Her powers were given to her to destroy, so why would they allow her to heal?<p>

Sure, she could manipulate her powers to make them "good." She could use them to fight evil, and to fix things, and to straighten up the tower. She didn't _need_ to use them for destruction. But in the back of her mind was the constant reminder that she was misusing her powers. She was going against her very nature. But while healing power was not being _misused,_ but it was still going against her nature.

She had noticed that it was very limited, and very painful. She could heal herself more than she could heal others. And when she healed others, all she could do was take the pain and fix it to an extent. When she tried to heal Beast Boy, she was only able to make a slight improvement. Still, it was something. Some wounds closed and some bones were less broken. He was more likely to live. Her friends told her that what she did was important and she wanted to believe them.

Deep down she knew why she had this power, but she refused to think about it and told herself that it was a mistake. But it wasn't a mistake. It was a message from her father.

When she healed, it hurt her. Not always a lot, but enough to make what she was doing feel wrong. It felt wrong because it _was_ wrong. When she gave to these people, she damaged herself. Her father gave her this power to show her that to try to heal the world instead of destroy it would destroy her.

But her father didn't know her. He didn't know that more painful than what she was taking from Beast Boy was the thought that he would not live. His message backfired. Instead of turning her against her friends and the world, it reminded her just how important they were to her. And while she was healing her friend, that power that was supposed to feel wrong felt very, very right.

* * *

><p>Cyborg wasn't really sure how he became the "doctor" of the house. He wasn't really a doctor. He never even graduated from high school, thanks to his "accident."<p>

But because of his "accident" he needed to know about medicine. He needed to keep his body healthy and he needed to know how to take care of his mechanical parts on his own. This was more difficult than it sounded. He was very smart, being naturally intelligent and raised by scientists. But he never wanted to be a genius who spent all his time studying and learning. He wanted to be an athlete, and he _was_ an athlete, and he was good at it. Suddenly he had to give it up and learn about technology and how to make his natural body work with his unnatural one. Even if he wanted to he couldn't go back to sports. He had an "unfair advantage."

Later on in his life he met some interesting friends, one of which was a little green boy who refused to go to a doctor because he was, for some reason, terrified of shots. Every time he got sick Cyborg got stuck with making him better. Gradually he learned that Beast Boy was a risky patient. He reacted badly to some medicines, and his powers made him unpredictable when it came to different sicknesses. Cyborg was able to adapt and learn how to treat his friend, but the longer he took care of Beast Boy, the less he trusted anyone else to do the job, and the less willing Beast Boy was to have anyone else take care of him. Cyborg was the only person he would allow near him with needles. Starfire was pretty tricky also, but she had enough knowledge of her own planet's medicine to help him out, and eventually he just took over for everyone, even Robin who was completely normal.

He couldn't trust the lives of his friends in the hands of anyone else.

That is why, when they had found Robin with Beast Boy after the fight, trying desperately to stop him from bleeding to death, they didn't take him to a hospital, they took him home.

It was scary, stitching up his own best friend, but Cyborg knew that if anyone could save Beast Boy's life, it was him.

* * *

><p>Starfire had to stand by helplessly as Robin, Raven, and Cyborg all did their best to help Beast Boy. She knew that the best thing she could do was stay out of the way. She was still so shocked at how fragile human bodies could be, and she was unsure of how to fix one that had been broken, and she didn't have healing powers like Raven.<p>

She told herself that it was okay that she couldn't help then. He would be okay. But standing back and watching while her friends worked was not alright with her. She was a warrior and a princess. She was not used to doing nothing. She may not have known how to fix a person, but that did not mean that she didn't care enough to do anything she could to help.

When Cyborg was done he left the room quickly. Starfire knew that he didn't want to leave, but that the last few hours had been painful for him. She walked over to the bed slowly. The room was empty, except for her and Beast Boy. It wasn't because the others didn't want to be with him, but because they were all off dealing with their stress in their own way. Cyborg would work on his car for a while until he could get the images out of his head. Raven would meditate until she could once again numb herself to the fear and rage she felt. Robin would train until it hurts and tell himself that next time he'll be ready, next time he'll be able to protect all of his friends.

And Starfire would be here. She gently took his hand and began to talk. She told him stories and explained what life on Tamaran was like. She didn't know if he could hear, but if he could she would not allow him to be bored.

Over the next few days the Titans were in and out of the med-bay. There was never a moment when Beast Boy was alone. Everyone talked to him and read to him and made sure he was comfortable, and no one more so than Starfire. She would sit by him and talk softly and brush his hair back, hoping that he could hear and feel her at least a little.

Finally, while she was reading one day she heard a soft cough, and she looked up to see Beast Boy looking at her and smiling weakly. She grabbed his hand and he squeezed back as well as he could.

"Hey, Star. Did I miss something?"

* * *

><p>Beast Boy may have liked to tease his friends a lot, but he thought they were all amazing.<p>

One moment he saw a wall coming down on him and the next he was being told that he almost died. There were a few moments in between where he almost came to, where he heard soft voices and felt people around him, but those were fuzzy at best.

Everyone praised everyone else for saving him. Cyborg had said that Robin managed to stop him from bleeding to death, Raven said that Cyborg fixed him up better than any "real" doctor could have, Starfire said that Raven did everything she could with her healing powers, and Robin said that Starfire took care of him better than anyone else did in the days before he woke up.

As far as Beast Boy was concerned, all his friends saved his life. And gave so much of themselves to do it. It hurt him to see them so tired and stressed. Of course, he saw this as something he needed to fix.

It didn't take long for him to have enough energy to start joking around again. As usual his jokes were answered with groans and shaking heads, but he could see the little smiles and knew that they were relieved. He knew that he was sometimes a little annoying, but he really believed that if he didn't make attempts to lighten the mood no one else would. Everyone helped and healed him in their own ways, and this was his way of healing them. Gradually he managed to get rid of most of the tension, and he brought some happiness back to the tower. Everyone started laughing again and things began to seem normal. The fear that comes with almost losing a teammate and friend began to weaken.

Sure, they were a superhero team and injury and death are possibilities. Scary possibilities that are painful to think about and even worse to deal with then they actually happen.

But they are all there to take care of each other, and they always will be. And they are pretty darn good at it.


End file.
